I was already knocked up when this photo was taken. I smoked the fag down to the butt and let the photographer put it out on my ass.
Hi there, sweetheart! I hope you were able to pick up a copy of my book. It’s available on my website along with all of your favorite KORA products. Love and light, Randa xxx
So, we all fucked Michael Bay after this commercial was shot because the bastard promised all three of us that we would be in the new Transformers movie. What a fucking liar.
Did you know that in prison men pull down their pants and show their underwear as a sign to other prisoners that they are bottoms and they are willing to be fucked up the ass?
OMG like how annoying it is that the paparazzi caught us for this picture perfect family moment. I mean, it’s not like my mum didn’t give them a month’s notice when she did those interviews around the time that shlocky article about the tree of us came out. I hate the paparazzi! That’s why I call them every time I need a picture perfect moment like this one and the one in Bora Bora when I had to pretend that a family vacation was more important than the Met Ball when I could have gone on a family before the Met Ball or after the Met Ball but considering that I didn’t get a fucking invitation…ahem…doesn’t my dottering idiot of a grandmother look pretty?
In my head, I live in a world where everyone is required by law under penalty of death to wear my face on their shirts. It’s a glorious world!
Dear God, who is this hideous creature with the gigantic round moon face and the fucked up lips and the greasy skin and the…it’s me? You sure? Oh. Don’t I look amazing?! ;)
I auditioned for the role of a Disney princess but they said that they couldn’t hire a princess with the clap and I said that it was no big deal but they went on about family values and whatever and I told them I would blow them all for the part and they let me blow them all but then they said that all of their princesses were cartoons so I couldn’t have the job anyway so I blew them all again just to change their minds and they said, “okay, one more time and we’ll really consider it,” so I went round the room again then they said no. Bummer.
Hi, sweet heart! All is great here and I hope that this message finds you well. Please take a moment to check out my KORA blog and while you are there, stock up on all of your favorite KORA products and pick up a copy of my book! Have a great night, honey! Love and light, Randa xxx
Thank you for all of your kind words, honey! Please make sure that you pick up a copy of my book, sweet heart! Love and light, Randa xxx
Hey there, honey! I am so glad that you took a moment to write to me. I hope that you will stop by my blog and stock up on all of your favorite KORA products! Love and light, Randa xxx